Special Edition
Evading Standards SPICE GENERAL ELECTION CANCLED

Election coliapses as new polls
reveal massive public cynicism.

by ANNA KEE
political correspondent

At a packed press conference this evening, John Major announced that after overnight talks with the other main party leaders, the current election date had been abandoned.

The Tory leader said. He was devastated, but the current levels of voter cynicism gave them "no other option. " Asked if he would resign, a tearful John Major said he was in consultation with the other party leaders as to the "best way forward." Reading from a candidly honest statement representing all three leaders, he said, when voter interest dips below a certain level a belief in the democratic process leaves politicians with no " other honourable course of action". In what appeared to be a trank admission of failure he went on to say, that the issue of sleaze, government ties to corporate interest and Labours shift away from socialist values had left many convinced that the answers no longer lay with parliament. He then stunned onlookers by making an emotional apology on behalf of all three leaders.

The polls which led to the crisis, where first shown secretly to party leaders yesterday. Both polls show rising levels of cynicism and an increasing belief that non parliamentary action was justified.

First hints that things were at crisis point came when John Major was seen encenng Buckingham Palace by a back door. Although never done before, constitutional experts have suggested the formal asking of the Queen's permission for the cancellation maybe an attempt to stop the Monarchy stepping in to fill the void

Insiders close to Messrs. Major, Blair and Ashdown, said a coalition government of national unity was being considered as a way of regaining voter trust, but others suggested that all three had admitted things were moving beyond their control.

Journalists described the scene at campaign HQ's as chaos with MP's of all parties greeting the news with shock.. MP's displeasure was heightened as 30 billion was wiped off Stock Market share prices as investors lost confidence in UK markets.

With politicians in disarray, the public are taking things into their own hands. It has been reported that thousands of jubilant staff have abandoned their workplaces or simply taken control themselves. An eye witness described the city as deserted with chief executives utterly powerless to stop the exodus. An analysts trom JP Morgan said " he thought it unlikely that senior city managers would be willing to take on the more routine tasks." - he added - "in these circumstances it seems that the markets are heading for a total collapse."

With London Underground under staff control and all travel now free it seems that if nothing else at least the London's transport problems have been. solved.

With John Birt ousted, and the BBC declaring itself a workers co-operative, with thousands of celebrating people have blocked major road links and started planting trees in the tarmac. Observers say it is increasingly unlikely politicians will be able to regain control.

This online version of the 'Evading Standards' has been bought to you by advocates for free speech. The paper version of this publication has been confiscated by police and at least three people have been arrested for 'incitment to afray'.

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