- Capitalism and Alternatives -

His Lordship Frenchy, the aristocratic patron saint of the British nobility

Posted by: Frenchy on December 01, 1999 at 16:54:54:

In Reply to: Newsflash: Boston under attack! posted by Farinata on December 01, 1999 at 12:51:11:

: : : : Lesson: expect to be assaulted when you stand between big business and their profits.

: : : Or when you break the law and refuse to submit to arrest. That one will also get you assualted.

: : : --
: : : McSpotlight: And when freedom is outlawed...

: : Freedom to tie up city streets and delay innocent people? Freedom to destroy private property? Freedom to shove YOUR point of view down everybody's throats?

: In what is described as "an outrageous attack on private property", an unspecified number of anti-free-trade activists last night mounted an attack on a ship in Boston Harbour. An unspecified number of activists disguised themselves to conceal their identity and stormed a number of tea ships; dumping 342 chests of tea into the harbour.

: The motive is thought to be politically-based; the tea was being imported exempt from the usual tariffs in an effort to maximise the profits of a failing company (the East India Tea Co.) This would enable it to undercut the local traders and flood the market with cheap foreign-produced tea; ruining the local merchants and lowering their quality of life.

: One of the activists was reported to have said "We can't compete with the Imperial tea monopoly; and their mad free-trade proposals will harm our businesses and starve our families; we have taken the law into our own hands to prevent this happening".

: The nominal head of the East India Tea Company; George the Third, is reported to have said;

: "The British Empire, like all free nations, has a history of peaceful protest. Peaceful protests have led to important reforms and great achievements in the Empire. Such protests have been instrumental in leading to a process of dialogue and engagement that had paved the way for achievement. But violence and destructive behaviour have never been part of that process.

: Violence is never an appropriate way to settle differences. I know that the violence comes from a tiny segment who through such actions detract from those who have come here to constructively protest. The East India Tea Company has sought in recent years to expand its contacts with people from all segments of society. Our efforts at transparency have not been perfect. More work needs to be done. But progress in this area can only be made through constructive dialogue.

: Here in Boston we have witnessed a very sad day. I urge all people here to show the maximum of restraint in the coming days as we seek to reach an outcome which benefits working families across the Empire. This is a Ministerial Conference. It is about the right of Ministers to represent the Empire. I ask people here to respect the rights of the people in other provinces of the Empire, in India, in Australia and in South Africa to name only a few."

: A local man, one Normand, was recorded as saying to news sources;

: "It's disgraceful; they're depriving innocent people of their tea, damaging private property and forcing their mad democratic propaganda down everyone's throats"

: It's unclear where it will go from here; the 'democrats' as they call themselves, are obviously intent on disrupting the normal functioning of the Empire; and the British Army may have to be called in to deal with these violent anarchists.

: Boston, December the 17th, 1773.

It's difficult writing good sarcasm, but in your case you dog-gone nearly succeeded. I'm surprised by your valient effort. Really.
May I point out what I consider weak areas?
First, the comparison between the brain-washed youngsters in Seattle and those who actually engaged in the Boston Tea Party approaches sacrilege. While there may be surface appearences their actions are essentially 60's street theater. Their actions will also not lead authorities to unleash 'King Billies' troops on them a la Waco...
I hope...can't tell with that dick-head...
Second, although I defend the idea of Capitalism and consider myself a capitalist and love my country, you are mistaken in believing that I have any high regards for this administration or most of the current political system.
Waco proved that if they want to they'll run tanks over you to prove a point. That's a sign of a dictatorship.
Anyways, it was pretty good satire. Keep it up!!


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