- Capitalism and Alternatives -

Mon centimes deux.

Posted by: Dr. Cruel on November 04, 1999 at 19:07:01:

In Reply to: La meme type que votre pere et mere, mon enfant. posted by Frenchy on November 03, 1999 at 13:12:32:

I believe, Frenchy, that here you must finally concede defeat to the ominous Red onslaught. For it is demonstrably provable that socialism creates jobs. Let me fill you in on the short list of vocational opportunities this unique system provides:

1) Prison camp guard. When the revolution comes, many will resist it. There are all sorts of people who, for one reason or another, will find themselves at odds with "the will of the people". Expect this one to have high growth potential after any successful "movement" of this sort.
2) Gulag taskmaster. Having this reserve of labor capital, one would expect the dictatorship of the proletariat to put it to good use. This ‘good use’ frequently involved a heavy dose of manual labor, not something performed without significant inducement - since the socialists quickly run out of accessible business interests, something other than "pay" is required. This job is not for the faint of heart (nor for the weak of limb) but has many appealing perks for those with the right sort of psychological profiles.
3) Secret policeman. One cannot expect the reactionaries amongst us to simply turn themselves in. Trained experts, skilled in the art of spotting ideological impurity in the able-bodied, will be eagerly sought by the new regime. In fact, as labor shortages at the local concentration camps make cause for concern amongst ‘those in the know’, the definition of "enemy of the people" will, by harsh dialectic necessity, need to be broadened. Another sort of fellow we might see more of, once "true socialism" has its way.
4) Apologists. Revolutions tend to get very messy. All sorts of questionable acts (and outright atrocities) will need to be explained away to the less politically conscious. An army of these skilled and semi-skilled ‘workers’ becomes a necessity, in order to generate enough of this "consciousness" to obscure the more nasty events. Again, a vocation requiring a certain sort of person.
5) Hero of the Revolution. For some as yet unexplained reason (at least not by Marx anyway), the triumph of socialism seems to mysteriously dry up whatever prosperity might exist in the host nation. The people, having a "will" for this sort of thing, tend to put a sort of collective pressure on the Party to search for greener pastures. Thus, Trotskyite Internationalism. In any case, the employment prospects of mercenaries and terrorists are bound to open up under such conditions as socialism might be expected to create. Indeed; one of the most successful exports of Cuba, both in terms of income generation and quality, are state troops for hire.
6) Party functionary. Once archaic bourgeois concept like "consumer choice" and "private property" are done away with, the need to fill the resulting gap in decision-making becomes paramount. There is a rumor that one J. Dzhugashvili was rather successful in this field, after a rejection of opportunities in the temporal sector.

And so on.

I think you owe Quin, if not an apology, at least an acknowledgment of an obviously superior talent in chutzpah.

"Doc" Cruel

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