- Creative Writing -

Mcdonalds...A Religious Experience

Posted by: Adam Howard ( The Third Triumvirate, Australia ) on June 09, 1997 at 11:04:37:

With more and more branches of Mcdonalds opening up, and sweeping the globe, it seems to me that more and more peolpe are seeking spirtual gratification in the hallowed halls of the Golden Arches rather than the fading Christian churches. Imagine the future......
The Manager calls the congregation to order.....
"On the night before he died the prohpet Ronald held aloft the 100% all beef patty and said ""Take this all of you and eat it, for it is the body of a half starved cow, from somewhere in the amazon rainforest."" When Mac-Time was over he took the recyclable paper cup, held it aloft and said ""Take this all of you and drink from it, for it is one tenth syrup, three tenths water and six tenths ice, and it will be shared with all, so that hunger and thirst will be subdued...in the form of a value meal. Do this in memory of me."" The next day he was betrayed (by the hamburgerlur no doubt) and taken before Grimace, then crucified on the golden arches. Three days later he rose from the grave, due to the alarming amount of preservatives in our cuisine. He will come again in occordince to our placemats........"
Religion probably should be more like Mcdonalds....Fast service, polite discussion, a small donation, and then your on your way! Maybe then it would be more popular.

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