- Kids -

One case does not fit all

Posted by: G. Lopez ( Florida, USA ) on May 24, 1997 at 11:52:42:

In Reply to: Re: Open letter to NBC Sponsers (McDonalds) Re: Deadbeat Dads posted by Joanne M. Shamy on May 20, 1997 at 16:48:20:


: Perhaps you should experience sending your children to bed hungry, or sending them to school without proper fitting clothing or with shoes containing holes in them. When you've experienced dealing with a "deadbeat", be it mother or father, for as long as some of us have, you'll be able to appreciate just what "DEADBEAT" means. These low-lifes think they're hurting their former spouse, whatever, but in essence, they are leaving a permanent scar on their children which will be with them for a long, long time.

: GROW UP!!!

I agree that support should be paid, but too many people take it that "One Case Fits All" ...That is not the case!!!

I have tried to get my ex to comply with the visitation order that she violates on a continuing basis. The difference is that it costs me a $500-$700 retainer fee and $125 per hour for a decent Attorney! All she has to do to try to raise my support or to file false counter suites is pay a $5 fee - thats correct (FIVE) dollars - and the pro. attorney's office will do all the work for her at the Tax Payers expence.

I can not afford to go back to court to lower my support as when it was initally set I made over $25,000 per year and had affordable benifits! Now due to health and other reasons I no longer am capable of being in that Profession (Fire Fighter) so now I make $7 per hour...no benifits, I have a wife that works her rear off and her 14 year old son whos father pays $0 support as he works for the state agency that sets support and custody in Florida (he gave us the boy after the boy got too much trouble for him and his new wife to handle), and we have a Daughter in College! We have NO assets and NO retirement or Savings. We are struggling to make all of our bills, my wife is so depressed about that and she is lossing Faith in everything including Church.

My Ex Wife has remarried, He makes over $2500.00 per month from his job, they own lots of Land that was given to them by his Grandmother, They have built a custom Home with all new furn. and DSS Satelite system, a 1995 Dodge Ram Ext-Cab 4X4 Pickup, a 1996 Dodge Ex-Cab Dually 4X4, and after I got a warant for my arrest for not being able to pay $125 per week Support and $80 per week for insurance out of my $249 per week paycheck...I had to borrow from a relative $2000.00 to get out of jail!!!

Hey...the Llama's they have on their farm are worth more than I would make in 10-12 years!!! I do not expect him to pay for my kids, but I try very hard to communicate with my kids and when they are with her they say what she wants to hear and never once will they call me..not even collect!!!

I quit my job as a Firefighter after 10 years just to move up there to be close to them and was totally rejected, declined my only 2 years of having them wake up at my home on christmas morning ( even though my court papers state I should get them every other year) The system does nothing for Fathers without Fathers spending BIG money that we do NOT have just to be heard. It would cost me around $2000 plus travel expenses to get my support changed! I couldn't afford $100 at this point! She has almost met her ultimate goal..."I'll do anything to split you and (my current wife) up so be prepared!" ...We have been divorced since 1986 and she still wants total control!! So please read this and understand that some of us want to Love and support our children, but when the custodial parent does nothing but undermines and keeps a deadly vengence against his or her EX, it destroys everything that you could have possibly done to participate in parenting.

Do I concider myself a "Deadbeat Dad"?
No I concider myself to just be a "Dad Beat Dead"
I lost it all and now a woman that loves me more than my ex ever did is so depressed that she has thought about suicide!!!

I LOSE!!!




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