: : I recently was given Chicken McWrap instead of the Garden McWrap I ordered. As usual I checked the wrapper to confirm this, and then began to eat. About half way through I looked down to see pieces of chicken!
: : I was shocked. The manager offered me my money back. I told him it is not that simple since I am a 25-year vegetarian. Head office was even less helpful, and even angry at Me!
I once went to a store and bought a pint of lobster salad. I looked at the styrofoam container and saw that it said "one dozen nightcrawlers." Thinking that this must be a mistake -- who could possibly mistake fishing worms for a delicacy like lobster??? I opened the container and dug in. Yes, I thought I tasted dirt on the very first spoonful, but it wasn't until one of those little buggers started trying to wriggle its way back up my throat that I stood back and said "HEY! Lobsters don't do this? What the hell am I eating???" So I went to the clerk and, with dirt and worm guts on my beard, said "Hey pal, I ordered a pint of lobster salad and I got a dozen nightcrawlers." He smiled and said "Why not you go fishing?" This is how I became a professional angler, even though I look carefully now before eating things that come in worm containers.
So . . . the moral of the story is this. You are an idiot. I can prove this. Easily. I have never (even at Mc Donalds) seen chicken that looks like, oh... a cucumber ... a carrot ... lettuce ... Once I ate chicken that looked EXACTLY like a brussel sprout, but I think that's an exception to the rule. Did your chicken bear any resemblance to say, onions . . . broccoli . . . CHICKEN???
Speaking of chicken . . . I once found a 10 foot burmese python in a box of Tomatoes. Burmese pythons taste just like chicken!
And, by the way I AM allergic to peanut butter, but only the smooth kind. Crunchy peanut butter is A-oK in my book. Have you seen my book?