Quack-Quack, I’m back. June 98
Friends, Romans, McCountryPersons, lend me your ears.
Ed the ill-Bred and Jake the Drake here again. McHeavens, is my dispute over two years’ old already? New E-mail address, same old story. Chomping on about the mechanically-recovered business ethics of Thorntons plc UK. (They who do chocolate, but can’t call it so outside of the UK.) There they go, the brothers Thornton, pomposity incarnate. But don’t trust the label, folks; Knights Templar they ain’t.
Nice little piece in ‘The Staffordshire Sentinel’ last night about my new song tape, ‘DUCK IN THE DOCK’ vol 1. No, it won’t be in your record store right now. I went out for a meal to celebrate. I just wish Steele and McMorris would stop pestering me for an autograph when I’m trying to scoff me burgers and peas.
Yes, this ‘DUCK IN THE DOCK’. It’s kind of a cross between the Spice Girls, Bob Dylan and Old Mother Riley Such classics as ‘Somebody Stole My Duck’, ‘Thorntons AGM’ and ‘Copyright Cowboys’. Real samples of the brothers Thornton worked into the mix, that I scooped up on me dictaphone at their AGM.
Plus the face on the cover looks remarkably like their chairperson. "Pure coincidence" as Thorntons would say. "Thought you’d be glad of the publicity!" as Thorntons would say. "Let’s see how they like it up ‘em!" as Jake the Drake would say and does say.
Got anything to trade for one of these tapes? A nice poster, pendant, your own song tape, a painting? Also looking for any ridiculous items of costume clothing, wigs, fairy wings, frocks, golden slippers in men’s size eight, etc. This is for my public appearances (by no great demand) as The Angel Of Chocolate Heaven.
If I don’t manage to set up a Website before Christmas call me a useless wretch-a-muffin and write me off as too thick to whip. Just finished a DTP course at Stoke College, so I'm on the way. To overcome inertia is the main thing, after which tactile memory takes over. Please drop me a line if you’re hip with Microsoft Frontpage for beginners.
In a previous McPosting I referred with some irony to BBC Radio Stoke. Sorry about that private joke and here is the explanation.
They interviewed me for an hour on my life with Jake the Drake. Sang one of me own songs and talked about Jake. But a couple of years on, when I was trying to prepare my legal case against Thorntons, EVERYBODY at BBC Radio Stoke could not recall that interview. Despite the fact that I had previously taken off me waistcoat and given to the presenter (she said she liked it) and despite the fact that I actually had a tape of that interview, and despite the fact that another of their presenters , SAM PLANK was the drummer in my danceband in the Sixties, nobody could remember the interview going out, and in all their letters of denial, seemed terrified of mentioning the name 'Jake the Drake'. Heh heh. Wow! Such McAmnesia!
Of course, I would be the last person to suggest that they had sought to stick a knife in the back of one of their own city’s creative artists in return for Lord-knows-what. I would never suggest that anybody at BBC Radio Stoke was trying to brown-nose his way to an OBE. But you'd be surprised at the number of white noses turning brown around here.
Hence you’ll find a snippet of that interview at the end of each side of the tape, to encourage you to wind it to the end.
Breach of copyright? How can I breach copyright of something that never took place, heh heh? I have all their letters tucked away, thanks very much. Of course, if they or Thorntons need an address for service, they know where I live.
Here, what's all this about a Jake the Drake BEANIE BABY, then. Surely not! Surely, surely, surely not!
All the very best from Ed Lane and Jake the Drake.