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Perhaps there is something in the Staffordshire air
which makes a domestic animal yearn for the wide open
spaces.
Less than two years after the hunt for the Tamworth
Two, a pair of pigs which went on the run ahead of the
butcher's knife, the search is on for the Tamworth
Nine.
This time they're cows. And they could turn nasty. For
an astonishing two months, the nine bovine fugitives
have eluded every attempt to round them up from their
hideout, Hopwas Wood, near Tamworth.
Members of the notoriously energetic breed, the young
Limousins spent several nights kicking the farm fence
which surrounded them until it was weak enough for
them to trample over and escape.
Since then police helicopters, scores of officers with
thermal imaging equipment, marksmen, and even a team
of 100 soldiers have been drafted in, all to no avail.
And according to the experts time is running out. With
every passing day the creatures bred for their beef
will be reverting to the wild, prompting fears that
they could attack members of the public in the wood, a
much visited beauty spot.
Spurred on by this fear, farmers have enlisted the
help of police and the Army to scour the area. But
despite more than 150 hunters joining the operation,
including 100 soldiers from nearby Whittingdon
Barracks, the latest search, on Friday, once again
ended in failure.
Bewildered soldiers yesterday reflected on one of the
more unusual manoeuvres of their service careers.
"It's not quite what you expect to be doing when you
join the Army," said Sergeant Andrew Morris.
"We were asked to sweep through the woods to herd the
cows out but there just weren't enough of us. It was
rather odd because we were told to be careful in case
the cows started charging at us. Apparently they can
be very dangerous."
With tranquilliser-toting marksmen waiting in the
fringes of the wood, NFU co-ordinators had hoped to
stun the cattle and take them back into captivity.
Though they were able to track the beasts with thermal
imaging equipment in a police helicopter, the massed
ranks were unable to corner their crafty prey.
It was in January 1998 that the Tamworth Two, Butch
and Sundance, fled an abattoir and spent a week on the
run before the Daily Mail rounded them up, bought them
off their owner and removed the threat of the
bacon-slicer from their lives by placing them in
luxury at a farm in Kent.
They now enjoy celebrity status and are the subject of
a series of books.
Whether their nine beefy cousins will make it to the
best-seller list, or the butcher's hook, remains to be
seen.
THE INCREDIBLE 'COWS WITH GUNS' SONG, THE ANTHEM OF A LIBERATION MOOOVEMENT
Read the Story, Hear the Music, Smell the Grange
Now featuring Real Audio, have a listen...
Copyright 1996 Lyons Brothers Music (BMI). All Rights Reserved.
[Intro chords:]
Am G Am
[Spoken]
[Am]
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows aren't fun
[Am]
They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be ate at the hamburger fry
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows well done
[Am]
Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows are one
[Am]
He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cow Tse Tongue
[Am]
He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cow doldrums
[Am]
He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Bad cow pun
[Am]
But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows are bummed
[Am]
He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows with guns
[Am]
They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cow well hung
[Am]
Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Run cows run!
[Am]
He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
[No chords]
We are free roving bovines, we run free... today..
[Chorus, sung:]
[F] [C]
We will fight for bovine freedom
[E] [Am]
And hold our large heads high
[F] [C] [E] [E7]
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die........
[Am] [G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows with guns
[Am]
They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows have fun
[Am]
Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Much cow dung
[Am]
Black smoke rising, darkening the day
[No chords]
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way...
[Chorus]
[F] [C]
We will fight for bovine freedom
[E] [Am]
And hold our large heads high
[F] [C] [E] [E7]
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die........
[Am] [G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows with guns
* [Am]
They sent out a call for solidarity,
leaflets and emails, and a telephone tree
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cyber cows rung
[Am]
The President said "enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cow dung flung
[Am]
The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be.. ground beef
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows on buns
[Am]
The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay
[G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows out-gunned
[Spoken slowly and dramatically, no chords:]
The order was given to turn cows into whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar... of chickens.... in choppers!
[Chorus]
[F] [C]
We will fight for bovine freedom
[E] [Am]
And hold our large heads high
[F] [C] [E] [E7]
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die........
[Am] [G] [Am] [G] [Am]
Cows with guns
Mooooooooooooooooo
THE END [OF ANIMAL EXPLOITATION]
* Extra verse, added by the London Greenpeace Choir at the UK Earth First
Gathering in August 1999
Dana Lyons: Guitar and Vocals
With Mi Tierra Mariachi Band members:
Alberto Leyva: Vihuela
Rafael Leyva: Guitarron
Jesus Sanchez: Trumpet
Dedicated to the Mooovement.
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