"Signs McDonald's Is in Financial Trouble"
As presented on the 02/28/97 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
(CBS TV, USA)
- After asking if you want fries with that, they ask if they can sleep
on your couch
- Instead of name tags, employees write their own names on their shirts
- Mayor McCheese now moonlighting as exotic dancer
- Special promotion: for a pledge of $100, the manager will deep-fry
his own hand
- Old sign: "Over 35 billion served;" New sign: "Please buy something
or we're, like, totally screwed"
- Oil in deep-fryer now changed every six months instead of every two
- As last-ditch effort to attract customers, they're putting meat in
- The only thing secret about the sauce is that it expired in March
- Haggard Ronald McDonald wanders through restaurant, asking customers,
"Are you going to finish that?"
- Happy Meals now 25% less happy