Greasy Spoon Sweatshop

Greasy Spoon Sweatshop


A Play in Five Acts

by

Robert S. Robbins

ACT IV

SETTING:

The same, that evening after close.
Chairs have been placed on top of the unoccupied tables.

AT RISE:

KEITH, JOE, DEBBIE, STEVE, MIKE, and SONYA are seated in the dining room.
KEITH
Thanks for coming everybody. This is certainly a great turn out. I know we have not had a crew meeting in a long time and I apologize for that. Joe will pass around a sheet of paper for you to sign so you'll get paid for being here. Remember to write your clock number next to your signature. I just want to explain the company's grievance procedures to you and then we'll discuss your ideas for making this a better place to work.
SONYA
My parents say I'll have to quit my job if there is going to be any union trouble here.
KEITH
That won't be necessary because I'll show you why we don't need a union. You know, I'm amazed by these radicals. What do they think they are doing here? People who are just looking to work part time have absolutely no need for a union. It is not as if we were a factory where you would expect to work until you retire. We provide part time jobs to teenagers, elderly people bored with retirement, and people looking for a second job. Why should such people be interested in a union?
STEVE (bitter)
Hey, some of us are trying to make a living on the minimum wage while getting a minimum of hours. I cannot live just part of the time you know.
DEBBIE (reflecting)
I don't ever feel like I'm really living.
JOE
But you do get more hours because you can work the longer day shift. People on the night shift don't get many hours because we have a lot of teenagers who need hours in the evening and at night.
KEITH
And if you need more hours you can just ask your store manager to schedule you for more hours. That is all you have to do, just come to us with your problems. We have an open door policy which means you can always talk with your manager about anything that is bothering you.
STEVE (incensed)
Bullshit! That's pure bullshit. The fact is that you deny us more hours on the basis of performance. I've been told that if I'm not considered one of your best workers I won't get the hours.
KEITH
Well that is only fair. The people that work the hardest and always try their best deserve the most hours. We want our best people working more than the slackers who don't take their job seriously.
STEVE
You're using our hours as a form of reward or punishment. If we don't work hard enough or fast enough you threaten to cut our hours. But if we do put in the extra effort we can still be sent home early if the labor percentage is too high. You are just being abusive. Nobody in a real job would stand for that kind of ill treatment.
KEITH
All right I'll see to it that you get more hours. But we have to work hard to satisfy our customers and keep them coming back. If we don't stay busy we don't need the crew. You know that our sales volume determines how many crewpersons we schedule. If we are successful, you will be successful.
DEBBIE (sarcastic)
Well you are very successful and I'm pretty much a complete failure. Something isn't right here.
KEITH (annoyed)
You have a bad attitude Debbie. You're letting that union creep get you all worked up. I think you are a success. You're raising a child on your own and working to support yourself. Not many women could manage that.
DEBBIE (sarcastic)
Oh thanks for the glowing praise. I guess that was cheap enough.
KEITH (gives her a look)
We have to ask ourselves if we are doing enough to satisfy the customer. Do we greet them with a big smile? Do we hold the door open for them when they come in? Do we cheerfully fill a request for extra ketchup packets?
STEVE (cuts in)
Do we wipe their ass after they've taken a dump? Do we wash their car in drive-thru? Are we being servile enough to lose our last scrap of dignity?
JOE (indignant)
You have one lousy attitude, mister! If you can't treat our customers with respect than you can't work here. They deserve as much consideration as you demand for yourself.
STEVE
I'm being treated like your black servant. Where is the respect for me? If I go into a fast food restaurant, do you think the white people working there hold the door open for me? They give me a look as if they'd like to slam it in my face.
KEITH
So you won't go there again! That is exactly our point. People expect courteous service or they feel like they're not welcome. We have to treat our customers like our guests. Now in order to improve our service we will be double checking drive-thru orders for accuracy. Before you hand the customer his order, we want you to have a manager check the contents of the take-out bag and initial the sales receipt.
MIKE
I don't have time in drive-thru to find a manager and wait for him to initial everything. The customer will see me holding his order while I wait for a stupid manager. I'll get yelled at.
JOE
But if we don't get the order correct, the customer will be back to yell at you or a manager.
KEITH
Look I know this new procedure will take more time but we can make it work with teamwork. You have to function as a team with the managers on your shift. Do you know what the most frequent complaint is about our service? Not enough salt on the fries. You mustn't be afraid to salt the fries. Remember we should be making three passes with the salt shaker to get enough salt on the fries and then you use the fry scoop to stir them up.
STEVE (upset)
Oh man, this is too much! I can't believe this. You've turned this meeting into a training session. You are introducing new demands upon us so you can ignore our grievances. If you are trying to convince me that we don't need a union then you are doing one lousy fucking job of it!
KEITH
Calm down. I'm sorry if I got a bit off track. I did want to announce some new benefits. We've enrolled each of you in a plan under By-Gum Dental Services. Your new dental benefit entitles you to a fifteen percent discount on all preventative and general services such as cleanings, extractions, x-rays, and fillings. We want your smiles to look impressive! Also, we are introducing a new raise rate of twenty five cents for outstanding performance, fifteen cents for excellent, and ten cents for good. Our next performance review is in two months so depending on your job performance you could receive a raise in two months.
MIKE (sarcastic)
Oh goody. We've gone from nickel and dime raises to quarter and dime raises. Of course that depends on a performance review which rarely finds you deserving any raise at all.
STEVE
You know we only got these paltry benefits because the union poses a threat to them. They wouldn't even be offering this without the union so that proves the value of union clout.
KEITH
The union won't be negotiating any new benefits for you because we refuse to bargain with third parties. You will only see greater incentives if you work with us instead of against us.
STEVE (hot)
Let me tell you something. Even if we don't get a union in here you've made enemies of us. This is personal. No matter what I go on to do, I'll always harbor resentment towards this corporation. If there is ever anything I can do to oppose the vital economic interests of Quickie Burger, I will take great pleasure in doing it. If I'm in a position of authority I will abuse that authority to strike at you. If somebody protests your business I will give them every assistance. If you sponsor an event in our community I'll boycott it. Believe me, over the years there is a lot our animosity can achieve in accumulative damage. We will be your most dedicated enemies. Just having one community resident absolutely hate your business can be devastating. Don't forget that I live right in this neighborhood and it is a local resident that you are pissing off.
KEITH (sternly)
Those are fighting words. You'd better realize that I can bring a civil lawsuit against individuals who try to deny my right to conduct business in a business district. This is not a residential district.
DEBBIE (pulls out a small booklet)
But you think you can trample on our rights. Just because you hire us you think you have absolute authority over us. What about some of the stuff in our employee handbook? It doesn't spell out any rights whatsoever for the employee. Look on page ten. It says we can be terminated without cause or notice.
KEITH
Joe, can you get me an employee handbook?
(JOE goes into the office area and returns with a small booklet which he hands to KEITH.)
Page ten? Yes, well you would get a verbal warning and a written warning before being terminated. See page fourteen.
DEBBIE
Then why does it state "the company reserves the right to terminate employment without cause or notice?"
KEITH
It is just a matter of legal necessity. We have to reserve that right or we would be required to justify every firing and provide advance notification. As a practical matter you would receive the warnings.
MIKE (Gestures for DEBBIE's handbook)
What about page five? It reads "We insist that all of our store policies be adhered to without exceptions." That doesn't leave much room for us to make any demands. We don't have any choice in meeting your conditions. We don't even have any say in anything around here.
KEITH
That is not true. You can make suggestions and communicate concerns to your manager.
MIKE
But you have the final word. What you say goes. We have no recourse to any means of challenging your absolute authority. Is that your idea of employee empowerment?
KEITH
Employee empowerment is simply giving you the means to do your job and become successful.
STEVE
No it isn't. It means giving us some power over the conditions of our employment. It means giving us the ability to make decisions instead of dictating strict procedures. Page five clearly states that we are powerless.
KEITH (fed up)
Now I'm tired of this. You people are really pushing it. I've had to sit here and be insulted, contradicted, and threatened. Let me remind you that insolence is grounds for immediate termination. Now I realize that a union rep has been working on your emotions, agitating you with inflammatory language, so I've been lenient. But I expect courteous behavior from my employees. Joe is going to hand out opinion surveys. I want each of you to fill out a survey and hand it in tomorrow. An independent consultant will review these surveys and make recommendations to the management team.
STEVE (threatening)
Maybe we won't be coming to work tomorrow.
KEITH
A strike cannot accomplish anything in a business like this. I'll just hire replacement workers and you will move on to other jobs. Nobody stays on here long enough to keep a union viable. Quickie Burger and other fast food restaurants aren't unionized because it just isn't practical. You'll have to accept that. Maybe you can find a job in a factory if you really want to belong to a union, but not here. This LeBotz character must be some kind of radical to pull such a stunt.
MIKE
I'm going to be looking for another job. I could do better than this.
STEVE
Don't count on it. The only jobs out there are part time or temporary. There has to be some kind of revival of organized labor before you'll find decent full time jobs again.
JOE
Before we bring this meeting to a close I want to remind the counter and drive-thru people to suggestive sell our super value meals. We don't make money on the menu items that we discount unless we can get the customer to trade up to a super value meal. So if a customer asks for our sandwich of the month you should ask him if he'd like a large fry and a soft drink with that which will save him some money.
SONYA
But it doesn't save him any money. He winds up buying more than he intended to.
JOE (patiently)
There isn't anything deceptive about suggestive selling. The customer does save money on a super value meal compared to the cost of each menu item if bought separately.
SONYA
But we wouldn't ring it up that way, charging for each menu item. We ring it up as a super value meal. There is no discount on the meal.
JOE
You're getting it confused. The meal costs less than all the menu items that make up the meal. Ah, I see the pizza is here.
(JOE exits Left and returns with a pizza which he sets before them.)
KEITH
Enjoy your pizza while Joe and I discuss a few things in the office.
(KEITH and JOE retire to the office where they talk quietly and occasionally cast stern glances at the crew.)
MIKE
Well that was a lot of bullshit. This scheme of yours is certainly getting everyone all riled up. I don't appreciate the hard time I'm getting from Keith and the others.
STEVE
It is about time somebody stood up to them. They've treated me like dirt for too long. Enough is enough. if we don't fight for our rights, nobody else will.
MIKE
I don't know why we bother. It's not helping us any. We should just quit and find better jobs where we won't have to put up with any shit.
STEVE
Maybe you could find another job but this is about the only place where white people want to see a black face.
MIKE
Don't give me any of that racial bullshit. You could get into anyplace because of Affirmative Action. You don't even need to be qualified.
STEVE
I wish that were so, because working for Quickie Burger doesn't qualify me for anything. Did you see in the handbook where a reference from Quickie Burger is called an important reference which can be important in future jobs and college applications? That's pure bullshit. I wouldn't even put Quickie Burger on an application. It makes you look like a loser.
DEBBIE (worried)
You know we could get bad reputations as trouble makers. Then we'll never be hired anywhere else because of bad references.
STEVE
You'll have a whole year's pay to see you through.
DEBBIE
A year! I know people that are still looking for work after five years.
SONYA
Well it wasn't my idea to join a union. It was Steve that invited the union organizer in the first place. I'm not responsible for making trouble here.
MIKE
Yeah, you're the one that had to bring him into the picture.
STEVE (defensive)
Damn right I had to get him involved. Couldn't count on you whitebread slaves to stand by me if I did something on my own. Now you're trying to blame everything on the nigger. The uppity nigger is to blame for causing all the trouble. Just remember who is really treating you like niggers, the white people who run this place. They are responsible for all your troubles.
DEBBIE
Steve is right. He is doing a fine thing here. If it takes a black man to draw the line somewhere then thank God for the black man. It's not as if you smug assholes were up to defending yourselves.
STEVE (pleased)
Yeah, you white people don't appreciate all the black brothers do to fight for equal rights.
MIKE
All right, all right already, but it is really LeBotz that will represent us at the bargaining table.
DEBBIE
I would vote for Steve as our union official.
SONYA
Me too but I won't be here for that.
MIKE (changing the subject)
What do you think about Keith? He seems dead set against unions.
DEBBIE
There is no way he will ever accept it. I expect him to fight it tooth and nail even if it puts him out of business.
MIKE
Well he is a small business owner. Steve, you seem to be forgetting that this is a franchise. The corporation may be making billions in profit and could well afford to share that with its employees but this store is just a small business with a low margin of profit.
STEVE
How do you know Mike? That is what you hear from their public relations department as it is fed to the press but there are some Quickie Burgers in New Jersey that pay up to seven dollars an hour for starters.
SONYA
Really? Seven bucks an hour would be pretty good in this area. I don't think even Joe makes that much.
MIKE
Actually, what this restaurant is paying isn't competitive for the area. You know how often people quit here to go work for another fast food joint.
STEVE
Mr. LeBotz told me that if Quickie Burger paid its employees more they would reduce the turnover in crew and save money on training and time interviewing people. He said they don't try to minimize turnover because the Targeted Tax Credit provides an incentive for hiring the unemployable. If they hire a high school dropout, a welfare recipient, or an ex-prisoner, they get a tax refund for the first ninety days. After that it pays them to replace those employees with new hires eligible for the program.
MIKE (skeptical)
Well I don't see Keith hiring any undesirable employees. LeBotz has it all wrong on that. Show me where we are churning over the unemployable. As a matter of fact doesn't Keith have an incentive program to retain his employees? Don't we get service pay at the end of the year if we stay on for six months? LeBotz doesn't know what he is talking about.
STEVE
Well maybe we do minimize turnover at this particular store. That might be because there aren't many prospective unemployable types eligible for the program in this area. I imagine they try to maximize turnover in urban areas.
DEBBIE
Are we going to see LeBotz tonight? It's late but we should see if he still wants us to go on strike tomorrow.
MIKE
I have to study for a test. I don't have time for another meeting tonight.
STEVE
Come on Mike, you can put aside your schoolwork for something as important as your job.
MIKE
Listen to me for a second Steve. You are attaching far too much significance to this job. You are focusing your entire life upon its most unpleasant aspect. What you do for a living is not your life unless you make it so. We really aren't what we do. Everyone here has a life outside this store or at least I hope so. I suggest you learn how to live it up. Live for the time you spend doing other things. Last night I had a real wild time. I went to this nightclub which featured adult entertainment. I saw the most wild things occur there, much more than I expected. It was the most excitement I've ever had in my life. You know, I've often felt very sad watching movies because I didn't feel like I was living at all. I've never had any adventures or wild escapades. I've always felt cheated. Finally I had the nerve to seek out a truly exhilarating experience such as we only observe in movies or read about in books. Last night was a breakthrough, a revelation! It was a stimulating experience because I was actually present for the excitement.
DEBBIE
You are disgusting. Do you realize that? You're talking about making women undress before you to fulfill your pathetic fantasies.
MIKE
Shut up Debbie. This is a guy thing. I can't help it if women don't get anything out of physical experience. The way I see it there is only one advantage to being a working man. The working man is free to have a wild time because he has no responsibilities. It is the professional who has to present the company's image. A careerist can't afford any impropriety. He is constrained by conservative values. But the working man has the advantage of being able to live it up. I've been thinking about this because I'm a business major. There are some aspects of working class culture I don't want to give up.
STEVE (disgusted)
See what I have to work with? You're really bent Mike. This is a serious matter and you have your mind in the gutter. There is nothing irresponsible about working for a living. The mere fact that you think that way reveals false consciousness. You identify so strongly with the ruling class that you don't even respect working people.
MIKE
That is commie talk. I'm beginning to have my doubts about you. What's with all this nonsense about class consciousness? Don't you know we're all middle class in America?
STEVE
No we're not. The working class is just too well educated nowadays. We all have aspirations to become professionals so we forget about our actual interests to identify with the vested interests. Working people need to reflect upon their situation and support the labor movement. The working man needs to honestly recognize his social status instead of labelling himself a prefessional through dubious reasoning. You, for instance, are not an entrepreneur yet and maybe you'll never have an opportunity to be one. Not even through education.
MIKE
Oh yeah. Well I notice you talk about the working man in the third person so maybe you don't identify with him either. Ah, I got you there, don't I? Sounds like you're just repeating liberal propaganda word for word.
SONYA
Well I think Mike has a point. Get a life Steve. If you would party more you wouldn't get so upset about your lousy job.
STEVE
You mean I wouldn't care so much. How convienent for the ruling class. They want us zonked out on television and beer so we won't get mad about our lot.
MIKE
(sarcastic) Don't you see everybody? It is all a conspiracy. Everything is the sinister doing of the ruling class!
DEBBIE
You're a sleazeball Mike. I didn't expect such behavior from you.
STEVE
See Mike, maybe you're too middle class for that lifestyle after all. You just claim to be a working man when it suits you.
MIKE
Hey pal, I have an identity outside of occupation.
SONYA (solemnly)
We should think of poor Jim. It is not right that they pushed him to give up on it all. They should pay dearly for that.
STEVE (strangely)
And indeed they shall. And for more than that, for the grave offense against the human spirit of meaningless toil. To think that I spend my life slaving away at this. This work is nothing to me. If I was born for this then I wish my mother had spared herself the trouble. Don't we deserve to spend our precious time on our personal purposes? Shouldn't our best efforts go towards our most profound needs? No, instead I must lose my life to worthless endeavors that only bring success to others. Is that loss worth what little I gain? Jim was right to committ suicide. This too is the waste of a promising life.
MIKE
What sort of outside interests do you have?
STEVE
I can't afford a hobby or social activities. Mostly I just educate myself on African-American political activism and civil rights law. I network with other brothers involved in grassroots efforts against drugs, crime, and poverty. I have a lot of connections in the civil rights movement and minority labor movement. That is how I knew where to find a union organizer. I could get other radicals and organizations involved in this struggle too. Maybe the entire liberal establishment would get behind it. All you have to do is show some initiative and soon everybody is commenting on what you're doing and closely observing how things turn out. The radical left is a very small community and when somebody takes action it tends to be highly instructive to others. I'm hoping to see numerous copy cat union drives at other fast food chains. Just think how big this could get!
SONYA (excited)
Maybe we'll be interviewed by reporters and appear on network television news programs! I'd like to be on Geraldo.
STEVE
Don't count on it. The mass media always neglects to cover anything involving organized labor. Besides, Quickie Burger spends millions on television advertising so they are immune from serious criticism. When is the last time you saw a negative news story on the fast food industry? It will never happen. You can criticize Quickie Burger in private and therefore assume you can do the same in public without really noticing the mysterious lack of media criticism.
SONYA (in good humor)
Damn! No fame or glory.
DEBBIE
Do we still have to be here? I need to get home to my kid. You guys are lucky to be single. I have to worry about leaving Christopher alone while I work and attend everyone's meetings. You know I could lose my son if some meddler decides he is being neglected. That would make me seem irresponsible. If my ex was sending his payments I wouldn't be in this fix. Men just can't seem to get it in their heads that women need to make a living too. We are always being cheated of our rightful income. You think there's always some man looking out for us and providing for us. That we don't need to bring in some income of our own. I have greater expenses than you do. I have all the expenses of raising a child and no money for child care or baby sitters. Do you know I have to babysit other people's kids to make some extra money? I bring Christopher along when I babysit. At least he has somebody to play with instead of being alone in that trailer for hours on end.
MIKE
Why don't you find a boyfriend to help you out.
DEBBIE
Nobody wants to date a single mother. Besides I don't want Christopher to be subjected to other men in my life, strangers replacing his father. I think it's terrible when women introduce a string of men into their child's life and expect him to deal with all her boyfriends.
MIKE
You should check out those exotic dancers with fists full of dollars and buckets on the floor for all their loot. Man they pull in at least five hundred a night!
SONYA
Five hundred dollars every night? Wow, I think I could respect myself if I had that kind of money. You know how people are always telling prostitutes to get a job at McDonalds or Quickie Burger so at least they'll have respect for themselves? What a joke! You get no respect being broke and working at a hamburger joint! This is selling yourself dirt cheap.
STEVE
I don't think I can come in tomorrow after listening to that arrogant bastard, Keith. It would just be too humiliating to let that smug prick win one. After all this turmoil I expect something to change. I can't take coming in here and finding everything is the same. The same old grind after I tried my best to change things and got my hopes up. Damn it I won't be here tomorrow morning.
MIKE
Well if you won't be here I'm not coming in to take up the slack. Joe will be so pissed and I'm not putting up with that. I need to study for my test anyway.
SONYA
If you two are going to take off then I guess I can get away with it too.
DEBBIE
Damned if I'll be the only one there tomorrow morning. I'll call in sick or something.
STEVE (pleased)
Good, then they'll get a big surprise tomorrow! I'll call Mr. LeBotz when I get home to inform him we're going on strike. I wonder what Jim will do alone? Probably treat himself like a fucking slave.
(Everyone laughs. KEITH and JOE become alert and glance over at them with anxious expressions.)


(CURTAIN)

(END OF ACT)

NEXT ACT