- Anything Else -

The Law of the Jungle

Posted by: Dr. Cruel on July 13, 1999 at 11:07:05:

In Reply to: No explicit 'rights,' but... posted by Cynic on June 29, 1999 at 11:35:52:

Goodness, you are correct. No species has a right to impose its needs on another. How obvious this is. Our own legal precedent would seem to 'bear' this out.

Which brings me to my own particular 'pet' cause, a problem that seems rampant in Sub-Saharan Africa, parts of India, and in many portions of the Third World ... I am speaking here of a particularly widespread practice known as 'inter-species homicide'. It would seem that a class structure seems to be at work amongst the animal masses - one group of which is decidedly peaceful and in harmony with nature (i.e. the herbivores) and another which seems quite dependant on the first, in a decidedly hostile manner (i.e. the carnivores). Countless times each day, one of the latter invariably murders a member of the former, for reasons that can only be explained in terms of the most virulent racism on the part of the carnivore class. In fact, the latter keep the former in a state of virtual abject terror, in that a greater portion of a herbivore's time is spent, when not grazing or snoozing, is an often futile attempt to avoid the most monstrous attentions of this most elitist set.

Something must be done. The corporations, in allowing this barbarous behavior, are obviously at fault here. My proposal is thus simple - a 'violence tax' (levied perhaps on hiking equipment manufacturers and somesuch?) to provide for a special 'anti-specieal violence constabulatory' that would strive to curb this most henious state of affairs. Perhaps stun rods, or needle guns, might be used to aenesthetize transgressors in the act; the scofflaw could then be incarcerated in special zoos, run by the likes of "Earth First!" or "GreenPeace" (The latter would seem especially appropriate for the task).

To those who might think my plan unreasonable, I would like to note that this hasn't stopped others from attempting to impose their absurd schemes on my person, and thus I see no reason why I might not also indulge in a bit of mania. Anything to stop this insane slaughter of innocents ...

"Doc" Cruel


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