THIS MONTHS FUNNY PHONE CALL...

Funnywump called up business tycoon Richard Branson on his mobile the other day. "To be honest the exchange would have been funnier if I could have heard a word the fucker said... he owns a mobile phone company, you'd have thought he could have got one that works."

Anyway, Wump calls RBs mobile but it's switched off, so he tries again later:
(beep, beep, crackle, crackle)
FW: Hi, Richard?
RB: Yes
FW: How are you?
RB: Yes (mumble, crackle)
FW: I'm phoning on behalf of McDonalds Workers
Resistance, em, you're very much the happy
smiling face of rampant capitalist greed...
RB: (crackled laugh)
FW: We were wondering if you'd like to donate to our
cause?
RB: Sorry, who did you say you were?
FW: You've the memory of a gold fish, MWR, and the
cause is the destruction of wage labour,
one which I'm sure is very close to your heart
RB: I don't (mumble, crackle, mumble)
FW: What about shares in your beard?
RB HANGS UP
FW: Virgin
"it's over man, he's gone"

It went something like that anyway.

So, that didn't achieve anything but was a bit of a laugh.

REGIONAL CO-ORDINATORS WANTED
(The successful applicants shall have an intense dislike for their employer)

Do you want to be a regional co-ordinator/ contact/ make up your own title? Well if you work for McDonalds and agree with the general idea of MWR (i.e.. you recognise that McDonalds just wants to make money out of you, that you have no interest in common with the company and are committed to improving the conditions of all McDonalds hourly paid staff without assuming any position of leadership) then please let us know, or if you’re in North America, please contact our people across the Atlantic:directaction@mwr.org.uk
You don’t have to do much, just act as a contact point for other McDonalds workers in your area so that we can start to build resistance locally and so that things are less centralised and less stuff has to go through us losers.

THIS MONTHS NEWS...

It's with the greatest pleasure that we announce the establishment of MWR's friends in America. We've been lucky enough to get together with a group of McWorkers based in the US who see things similarly to ourselves and who have agreed to become our North American convenors. It's hoped this development will lead to more McDonalds workers groups being established across North America, and to decentralisation of the McWorkers movement away fae Glasgow. If you're based in North America and work for McDonalds or support workers organisation in McDonalds, then please get in touch with our new North American convenors: directaction@mwr.org.uk Recently they have been working hard, campaigning to raise the minimum wage in their state. In their own words: "these are small steps, but small steps can bring great changes".

We've started an online guestbook which you can get to from: www.mwr.org.uk/home.htm so please sign it and say something nice.

The Stirling group have a new e-mail address 'cos the old one wasnae working, it's now:mwrstirling@yahoo.com So write to them and send love and kisses.

We’ve been doing a lot of work on the web site. We've got some of the translations up: Italian, German and Spanish. Special thanks to those responsible and those still working on translations. Can anyone translate into French? Le Francais de la MWR cest pas bon, nous sommes merde. Voudrais l'assistance sil vous plait. We are working on loads of new stuff, including a complete guide to working at McDonalds and we are also trying to put into words some of the ideas behind MWR. www.mwr.org.uk

Bizarrely, someone complained that they don’t hear enough from us (!?) So if anyone is finding the job so miserable that hearing from us could actually improve their day and would like to be informed every time the news page is updated (every few days), then please send a blank e-mail to:newsupdate@mwr.org.uk Or try and get out more.

THIS MONTHS SHIT THING MCDONALDS HAVE BEEN DOING...

Here's an interesting story from Germany, courtesy of a group called "slaves in mutiny". McDonalds wanted to open a new outlet in Germany and so they needed labour cheap and fast. It seems the appeal of a free uniform and £4.00 an hour to work your ass off for one of the dodgiest corporations in the world led to recruitment at a rate that was neither fast enough or cheap enough. So, McDonalds (every government’s favourite 'corporate citizen') worked together with the job centre/benefit agency to press gang locals into McService. The new McEmployees get 11,10 DM (about £3.40) an hour. Unemployed people are interviewed in the job centre while the dole officer is present and if they don't accept the job, they will have their benefits cut completely for three months. Work for McDonalds or starve. Exploitation in the workplace continues because employers are backed by the state, and this backing ultimately takes the form of violence. It also shows that as workers fighting our employer, our struggle is linked with that of benefit claimants. Governments spend millions trying to convince workers that claimants are 'scroungers' etc. That's fucking bullshit designed to divide us. Claimants, workers, we're all on the same side. The real scroungers are the bosses who get richer and richer at our expense.

THE AVANT-BARD

The Nation mourns

T’was with much sadness that I learned Queen Ma had
passed away
It meant I’d lost our sweepstake having put her down
for May.
They’ve called for several days of mourning (somebody
said nine!)
There’s talk of a national holiday, but we’ll no even
get double time.
She never worked at McDonalds, she was never that
short of wealth
Which makes this less than relevant, but explains her
excellent health.
She could have worked for McDonalds had she stayed in
Germany,
Where benefit claimants are forced McJobs and given
derisory pay.
But she lived her life at our expense and now we’re
meant to cry,
When an ancient royal parasite has the decency to die.
One thing that was a little sad, one thing that kind
of stung,
It’s just so much better fun when royals die young.

APOLOGY

The response to our humble web site has been great. Loads of thanks to everyone who has contacted us. However, it's meant that we had quite a lot of stuff to send out to people and we’re really incompetent so it took ages. However, we have now posted everything and so it should be arriving soon. If you’re waiting on something and after a while it still hasn’t turned up then please get in touch with us. Sorry again and we’ll try and get our arses in gear for the future.

MILF, where are you? Your e-mail address isn’t working and we can’t remember which is one of your personal addresses. Please get in touch, we miss you bad mother fuckers.

This month we have mostly been supporting... protesters and detainees at the Woomera detention centre in Australia: www.womera2002.com

Finally, in case anyone saw the April 1st post on the news page about our collaboration with the UK Independence Party and ‘Burger Jester’ that was not an April fools joke (honest). www.mwr.org.uk/news.htm

=====

"If you think you are too small to make a difference try sleeping with a midge"

http://www.mwr.org.uk
MWR, PO Box 3828, Glasgow, G41 1YU  
 
related links  
 
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